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Loving Efficiently

Loving Efficiently

Laughing coupleLove and efficiency are rarely seen together.

And you may think that it lacks romance to think of love with efficiency in mind. However, efficiency is the way to go nowadays in every area of your life.

Not so long ago pace of life was much, much slower, and we could afford to waste time. Now we can’t.

Days are still 24 hours, our physical need for sleep remains as it is, the number of things to be done in a day has never been that high.

So we think from a goal perspective: achieving depends on efficiency.

The goal here, is the mutual satisfaction of two persons in a relationship, so they can both reach another level of love, trust and respect.

If you want somebody else to feel your love, you had better addressed the way you show your love.

One of the biggest misleading assumptions today, is that love is innate. Religions, spiritual guides keep repeating that we are all creature of love; therefore we should know how to love. Many people don’t even know how to properly love themselves, so truly loving someone else rather seems out of reach.

Is there a proper way to love?

I believe there is. Love is a perception driven by multi-factors. How we feel loved depends on how we perceive love actions. This perception is critical in a relationship because it drives the way we show our love for the other.  Spontaneously we do what we would love to receive, be it attention, gift, time etc… It may work but it may not. Here is the reason behind: each and every one of us is more or less sensitive to certain actions,

It may work for some time but chances are that it will eventually fail. Here is the reason behind: each and every one of us is more or less sensitive to certain actions,

Here is the reason behind: each and every one of us is more or less sensitive to certain actions, love demonstrations. Our desire for pleasure is very intense, and it motivates our initiatives towards others with the unconscious hope that we will get the expected pleasure in return. You can be lucky and hit the mark each time because you share the same primary love language. Yet you most likely have different inherited believes. That add another layer of uncertainty.

When we fail to love in a way that is perceived as such by our partner, often miscommunication and frustration plague the relationship.

EZcouple uses the 5 love languages to help you

Gary Chapnan author of The Five love languages has identified five languages: word of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, receiving gifts, and physical touch. These are five different ways of expressing our love.

We all want to believe that the initial magic in our relationship will last forever. And we think that this is love. So once passion has waned and the relationship finds a new balance. We fail to identify what is missing for us to feel the same excitement. We have not changed much but our perception has: what was cute, funny, and romantic, with the blind eyes of passion, is now childish, exasperating, and pathetic. We are not as forgiving anymore, and we need to feel loved. If only we knew what is the best way to show our love for our partner…

Efficiently loving another human being starts with knowing what makes that person feel loved.

You can read Gary Chapman’s book on the 5 love languages. It is worth the read. You can also register on EZcouple and play the love language game there. It is easy, fast and efficient because you will get insights on how to speak your Partner’s primary love language as well.

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Anne Benissan
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